History of Transgender Day of Remembrance

The first Transgender Day of Remembrance was November 20, 1999.
It was originally a web-based project (headed by Gwendolyn Ann Smith) begun as a way to memorialize the
murder of a transgender woman named Rita Hester from Allston, MA. 

November 20th will forever be the day we mourn the trans people we've lost and advocate on behalf of the living.

I know this is a week past, but bear with me.  This took me a week to be able to write.

This year marked the first time in 5 years I missed a vigil for transgender murder victims.  This is also the first vigil since I came forward about my transitioning.  So, as you can imagine I feel like a giant shit because I couldn't be with the rest of my community honoring those whose lights were extinguished.  Though the flu kept me in my bed, I did still light a candle and read from the list of names.  I also had the opportunity to have quiet time to think about what it all meant to me as a transman.  Here's what I've come up with...

In 2012, I went to my first Transgender Day of Remembrance Vigil.  I remember hiding in plain sight and pretending I didn't feel anything more than sympathy for the families who lost their loved ones to violence or self-infliction.  I also remember being scared to think what might happen if I ever let my inner feelings out.  I was so worried if I were to start dressing, acting and behaving like a man someone would do to me like someone did to the extensive list of people whose names were read that year.  So, I ran and hid who I was.  I pretended I'm just a normal, heterosexual woman living my normal life with my normal, heterosexual husband and there is nothing "abnormal" or "unusual" about me.

The few next years, I continued to go to the Remembrance vigils convincing myself I was only going because it was the right thing to do by showing support to those who lost their families.  Again, hiding behind my heterosexual husband and lifestyle.

Around April 2016, when my husband had his brush with death and we spent almost 4 months in the hospital I had the opportunity to dig into myself and really find out what was important.  I found some books to read and some pamphlets to help me figure out what I was feeling.  When I came to the realization my issue was I wasn't living my true life.  I wasn't being my true me.  While my husband was laid up in the hospital I found the nerve to discuss my dysphoria, my emotional issues and my psychological issues with living in my AFAB body.  His main line was he was all for it so long as I was happy and wasn't looking to leave him.  (Funny how that story some what changes.)

Come Day of Remembrance 2016, I had just become part of an organization which is active in the LGBT community and they were invited to the vigil in another town.  Well, I jumped at the opportunity to go.  This would be my first vigil as a member of this organization and as a transman (even if that was only in my mind).  Let me tell you, that vigil hit me hard.  I found as the names were read and the candles were lit, each felt like a knife slicing across my heart.  I listened to the stories, poems and songs of the performers and speakers as they each opened their souls and bared the most intimate parts of themselves.  I could feel my heart breaking and healing with the love from the other attendees in the room, but not just.  I could also feel my true self coming to the surface. He was knocking all I had to do was let him in.  That is what happened the next morning.

This year (as I said), I had other things to deal with, but it did not stop me from allowing myself the opportunity to remember those who have lost the fight either through an external source or due to their own hand. 
This year is the year I stand up as a transman and I promise to make a difference for my brothers or sisters.

Trans people aren’t just trans people.
They’re brothers and sisters and sons and daughters, but we’re targeted disproportionately.

From October last year until September this there have been 325 transgender people murdered>
With no mention to any of the individuals who have taken their life in this time period.  

I've looked over my posts for the last few weeks and it has made me realize I much as I love writing this blog and I am having fun writing the little things I write here, it is taking away from my real writing. 

What I have decided is ... 
So we are all on the same page...

    Blog Posts - Monday Mornings @ 9am CST
    Story Teasers -  3rd of the month @ 1200 CST
    Story Chapters - Last Saturday of the month @ 1200 CST
    FB Postings -  pending 

Let me know what you think.
Is this blog worth continuing?
Do you want to see or hear anything from me?

Your Friend from Outted Space
​Mandi

The Alchemist’s Beaker, the local pub​

A hulking, dark-skinned man stood behind the massive bar wiping, mindlessly at a spotless glass. The door opened allowing a piercingly, bright light funnel through the pass.  

“Afternoon, Mr. Castor. Usual?” The bartender enquired setting down the glass.

“Afternoon, Wiley.” Elder nodded plopping on a barstool, “Always. The usual drink; the usual bar; the usual bartender; the usual BS from Mother; the usual…life.”

Propping his head on his palm, Elder stared blankly as his only friend moved gracefully collecting all the necessary supplies.

“Tell me, Mr. Castor,” Wiley’s deep timbre rattled Elder from his ozone expedition, “why do you drink this stuff? It’s not good.” Placing the drink and coaster on the bar. “I mean, even beer tastes better than this stuff.”

Elder half-smiled as he watched the blue flames lick at the alcohol soaked sugar cube. “Well, Wiley, it goes like this,” taking the spoon and stirring the liquefied sugar into the drink, “when I was in college, my Lit prof told us that my favorite poet drank this stuff; To the point of excess.” Picking up the glass, “Now, I had to wait quite a few years before the US would legalize the use of this particular libation, but once it became available for distribution I jumped on that ship and sailed away.” Tipping his glass to Wiley, “Salud, my friend.” In two quick swallows Elder had finished the Green Faery, smiling widely at the bartender.

Shaking his head at his customer/friend, “I always heard that that stuff was deadly. I can’t imagine taking the risk.” Picking up a rag and wiping at the immaculate bar top.

“It’s not anymore dangerous than anything else you have behind the bar. Besides,” cocking his head to the side, “Have you ever tried it?”

“Yes, yes, I have and I ain’t in no big ass hurry to do it again.” Shaking his head, “That stuff tastes like shit.”

Chuckling, “Yeah, I suppose your right the taste isn’t exactly the best, but it tastes better than that damn castor oil my mother is always taking. She swears that crap is responsible for her living so long.” Shrugging his shoulders, “Maybe she’s right. Maybe that’s why she just won’t die and leave me the hell alone.” Pounding his fist on the bar.

“Castor oil?” Wiley stopped cleaning and stared at Elder, dumbfounded. “Are you kidding

“Yes, yes, I have and I ain’t in no big ass hurry to do it again.” Shaking his head, “That stuff tastes like shit.” ​

Abraham Lincoln was quoted as saying, "My best friend is someone who gives me a book I have never read."

I prefer, "My soul mate is someone who brings me coffee when I don't ask for it."

Good morning, dearies!

Today, I am going to take a quick second and talk to you about a new restaurant I tried in September with my SO in our hometown just after it had opened on the 21st.

It's called Nomadic Candy & Cuisine!  It is located in an old historical building right on the Rock River in Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin.

Paul Christianson and his wife, I'm sorry I've forgotten her name, own the place, cook the food and make the candy they sell.

While we were there, we ordered the Cubano sandwich, the Roast Sirloin with Chimichurri sandwich, a bowl of Chicken Pho soup, cannolis, bibingka and baklava to take home.  The SO had a Jamaican orange cream soda and, of course, I had coffee.

This place is awesome!  If you find yourself in the area, let me know and we can meet up for some treats and coffee.  
If you don't want to be with me (I understand), but try their food anyway.  It is so damn worth it!