EDITOR'S NOTE: I do NOT promote the author's attempt at instructing you lovely readers to perform tasks incorrectly.
Be advised, as The Superior, I do NOT condone this blog postings content.
There are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of videos, tutorial and plain advice articles on how to do things. there are even more on how to do them efficiently, greener and/or more economical.
I usually find these boring or king of brilliant in a common sense promoting observational kind of way,
but I rarely find them entertaining or enlightening.
As I have tried, you may be pressed to find instruction on how to do something 'wrong'.
That's what we're going to discuss in today's blog.
I hope you enjoy!
HOW NOT TO DO THINGS
1. Changing the oil in your car.
* There are a few tips I could give on what not to do when changing your oil, but I feel the most important would be...
Do NOT put your face directly under the oil drain plug when you remove it.
You will be spitting, sputtering and cursing as you wipe off your used motor oil facial.
(Not my personal experience, but was funny as hell nonetheless.)
2. Making a cup of coffee.
NEVER, NEVER put fruit in coffee. The End.
3. Pumping gas.
Do NOT drive off without removing the nozzle and recapping your tank.
(Never done this, but saw a local cop do it. Laughed my ass off for hours.
Still giggling about it even now.)
4. Communicating with a foreigner (non-native language visitor).
Do NOT draw out your words and, for all that is holy, do NOT scream/yell/raise your voice.
They're not stupid or deaf, they just don't understand the language.
Turn on your damn smartphone and open Google Translate.
This will help you both a whole lot more.
(Again, I have never done this.)
5. Making a deposit/withdrawal at the bank.
Do NOT forget to put your account number on the slip and do NOT go to the wrong bank.
(Yes, I have done both of these at least once in my life.)
6. Preparing a meal for 2.
Do NOT cook a 5# meatloaf, plus sides.
You will have meatloaf for days.
(Guilty. I couldn't eat or make meatloaf for 6 months.)
7. Driving on the interstate/expressway/highway.
If the posted speed limit is 70 and you are driving under 75, do NOT pull in front of me as I'm coming up on your left.
The left lane is for faster traffic. Take your slow ass back to the turtle lane.
GET OUT OF MY WAY, JACKASS!!
(No road rage here. Tee-hee!)
I don't know if this willc ome in handy to anyone, but I hope you enjoyed reading them!
Happy Wednesday, All!
I have spent quite a few years writing short stories that never quite fit into the 'normal' genre. When I came across the different erotica genres I was overjoyed. I had found my writing family. I hope that everyone enjoys what I've written. Please feel free to send me a comment/suggestion good/bad/indifferent. I appreciate all feedback! Bright Blessings!